Frank Fridays are back!

Whazzzzup?!  You didn't think I'd just let this little gem slip quietly into the night, did you?  Well, sorry to say if you were hoping for yes, that's a big fat nope!  I am way to candid for that :)

Today's b*tch session Frank Friday will focus on two things:

1) Why are all decently priced maternity clothes fugly?

2) How in the name of all is holy do some people get supervisory roles?

Where shall we start?  Ok, clothes!  So I'm 6 months prego at the moment and while I'm mostly in my "old" clothes it's not for a lack of wanting more comfortable and stylish duds!  I, however, am not willing to spend $50 for a shirt that will only fit for the next couple of months- only to be lost to the closet monster until we do or do not decide to have another child.  Further more, if we do decide to have another child who knows if I will be the same size or if the style of said clothing item will be in style.  Yeah, no.  So, alas good friends I head to cheaper places to find clothes.  Enter ill-fitting, burlap sacks that are passed off as "maternity" clothes.  Shoot. me. now.  Can I girl catch a break?  I mean, my stomach is growing to crazy shapes to accomidate this little life and I have to wear ugly garb that makes me look like I belong in the big top.  What part of this is beautiful and magical?  I rest my case.  Please, please, please, please, please if you know if any inexpensive clothing outlets for a someone making a human, let me know!!

Next.  This will be short and sweet.  How, on God's green earth, do some people end up in Supervisory roles?  Are they like willed or pitied into them?  I'm pretty sure there are some companies that are just WAY to lazy to look beyond their current employee pool for such roles.  I'm pretty sure I'm stuck in just such a Twilight Zone episode right now.  Really, you print everything?  Really, you don't trust that the computer will store that data for you?  Do you even know what a computer is?  No... it's not an IBM that takes up a room.  Again, shoot. me. now.  Thank god this is a temp position because if I had to endure this mirco-managing, paper-loving, antiquated process following, hater of all things new and efficient... I'm not sure one of us would make it out alive.  I'm pretty sure you know which one it would be.  Woooossawww.  #pregorageisreal

On that note, I'm looking at an utterly amazing weekend ahead and I'm 9min away!  So don't forget to have fun while you're free and always remember to be frank!

Until next time!

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Frank Friday: Random Rantings

Hello there!  Ready for today's installment of Frank Fridays?!  I am!!  Guess what, I've decided to take Frank Fridays to the next level!  There is a little button at the bottom and a link up!  So go forth and be frank!

Today's Frank Friday will deal with all sorts of random rantings.  Let's get to it, shall we.

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1.  Talk to my eyes.  First of all, I want to thank everyone who checks out my lady lumps.  While I may be .5 seconds from punching you and slightly offended in the there's nothing here for you, kind of way I am also secretly flattered.  Now, before you go all 1960's women's feminist movement on me, let me just say this: I like my fun bags.  I am proud of my pillows and therefore take it as a slightly skeezy compliment when someone checks them out.  Also, I should note that this "look" is not reserved for the male species- ladies do it too!  Whether it's envy or objectification, let's try to talk to the eyes people- they're pretty too!

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2.  Not all showers are created equally.  I have seen so many wonderful and beautiful showers on Pinterest lately!  They look extremely inviting and you can only imagine living in the lap of luxury in these beauties.  However, have you ever taken a shower in one of these "open concept" showers?  Let me be the first to tell you that they are freezing!  Think warm waterfall while you're in and Antarctica for any body part that should happen to venture outside the circle of trust!  The moment you reach for anything, some part is going subzero.  There's your warning.  You're welcome.

3.  I am not a mind reader, like Team Edward here.  I know I look like the Great and Powerful OZ with my powers of perception and persuasion, but alas little readers, I am not.  Well, I am really observant but I digress.  If you would like me to do something you must ASK ME.  Foreign concept, I know.  It really gets my goat when people would like you to do work for them but yet fail to actually ask you for something and then blame/get aggrivated when it is not done correctly.  If you come at me like that you will see my Eye of the Tiger and hear my roar.  Thank you, Katie.  However, if you would like dating advice, know if someone is totes crushing on you or if your BFF is seriously MIA because you LMFAO'd at the wrong moment- I'm your girl.  

How was your Friday?  

Did you want to drink at noon?  I did... apparently that's frowned upon.  

Link up and tell me about it!

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Link!

Everlasting Gobstoppers

Bloggers are not everlasting gobstoppers.  Sure we change flavors faster than Violet Beauregard turned into a blueberry but eventually we run out of steam, or flavors if you were really into the analogy.  At some point we have to stop tasting like bubble gum and cotton candy and be real- and by real I mean by this time we're probably tired, stinky and slightly haggered.  Yum, you say I smell like teen spirit, I say I taste like haggered.  Potato patato.

On one rainy blustery day, oh yeah- today, I was sitting at my picturesque window looking out and I just thought... 

What the hell am I going to do?  I hate my job.   

I need to make money, well that was more of a period.  I need to make money.  Not the rich and famous kind, but the I don't want to eat top ramen and we have a goal to get out of debt plus, duh- I'm a grown up with grown up bills.  Thank you $20k for an education that I don't use, but I get to proudly say- I'm a college grad- go me!  Worthless.  Except employers, no one cares if you went to college or not.  That little piece of paper does not measure your worth and really... Some of the dumbest people I know are college grads- sorry guys.  

So what now?  ( and there I sat for about 38.6 minutes until I realized I was hungry and went out for seaweed snacks an chocolate ice cream.  No joke.  Don't judge me, I'm a woman of diverse tastes.) 

#whatdoyoudowhenyouhatewhatyoudo? #firstworldproblems but this is my real problem... I just want to write.  I just want to be heard.  Do you think anyone would listen?  Why don't we have spellcheck in real life?Do you think Debbie Downer is a real person?  What would happen if she took uppers?  

The great thing about this tiny corner of the world wide web, is that it is mine.  All mine.  Of course I want you to tag along for the ride, I mean... I've never met an audience I didn't like... but I get to call the shots here.  I've decided to create Frank Fridays--- I'm going to say everything that's on my mind!  No holds barred... Or whatever that saying is!  It could be good, bad or ugly but I'm gonna just do it- because Nike said so. 

So these are my ponderings for today.  Are these the rantings of a vitamin D deficient woman in a sideways rainstorm with no thunder or lightening?  Creeptastic, I feel ya.  Well ...maybe.  But these are definitely the thoughts of a woman who needs more out of life.  

If you happen to know of any positions that pay based on awesomeness, creativity, Dr. Phil services or random spoutings of a twenty-something (yes, I still qualify- shut it), then let me know.  I'm pretty sure I could make a pretty penny and look pretty fly for a white guy or girl doing it.

I hope you enjoyed your first Frank Friday!  Peace out trout.

Until next time...

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