Friday, January 24, 2014

Frank Fridays: Step Parenting is Hard!

Just for clarification before you start reading this, whoever you are :) , these are my thoughts, opinions and theories.  I wasn't sure if I was going to talk about the hard situations my family is facing right now but holding back from my blog would be bottling something up, silencing my voice and letting negativity win.  This is my blog, my space and I have decided that I will be expressing every emotion that comes along on my journey.  Enjoy, or don't...?

Definitely loves my girls like his own!!  Blessed to have 2 men that love them....their dad and their step dad


First, I chose this.  I am not biologically programed to love your child, I choose to.  I think it takes a special person to be a step parent.  Being a product of a step-parent lifestyle I can say that I respect and love mine with all my heart.  My only wish, is that everyone wanted to be involved.  It's such a foreign concept to me that I'm now in a situation that has four loving adults (two bios, two steps) and one part of the equation is trying to sever the ties.  I can't believe that would ever be in the best interest of a child. 




"If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do." ~ Mohandas Gandhi

I believe in this, as well. Applied this belief on my daughter's life.

The bumper sticker quote we've all come to know and love was shortened to "be the change you want to see in the world" but I believe this has a deeper meaning.  I will not wait for someone else to change.  I will not be vindictive or malicious.  I will continue to be funny, goofy, loving me and continue to do what is best for the children. 

However, support for blended homes is crucial.  Did you know that about 65% of remarriages involve children from the prior marriage and form blended families?  We are not alone and we are certainly not unique in the tumultuous relationship between all adults involved.  But, I can't help but wonder why.  We're all here for the same goal, so what's the benefit in all of this resistance and maliciousness?  Everyone loses in this situation, but the ones who lose the most are the kids. 
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Despite all your attempts to talk smack and burn my picture and try to erase my name from her graduation puppy, I'll still continue to stepparent & love my stepdaughter the way I have been. Because your daughter sees your ugly ways and tells us all about them. You're only burying yourself sweetheart. She's sees what an ugly person you are.
I will be a role model.  I will always be gracious and caring.  I love them regardless.  I believe that children will grow up acting the way you act and while the mirror is harsh in the bright morning light, sometimes it's necessary.  I believe that how I act, will be how they act... and even though these children aren't mine biologically I will always be someone they can look to, come to and be a positive person in their life.  I can only hope that all involved will act the same.


#Parenting | A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone. Billy Graham | #quote

There's the age old saying we heard from our mothers and grandmothers engrained into my mind "Treat others how you want to be treated".  Religious beliefs aside, this one just makes sense.  One day these children will grow up and might find them selves in a similar situation to the one we find ourselves in now.  How would you like their story to turn out.  Sure, it's easy to say this would never happen to them, but there's no way to know.     





Whether you're a parent, step-parent, grandparent, teacher, etc., you should always support one another and only speak positively of the other.    So true! We are mindful to always do this! <3

In the spirit of new beginnings and a new year,  let's start over.  Hello, my name is Annalee Ladd.  I am 30 yrs old with a Bachelors in International Affairs with a minor in Government.  I am married to D. Ladd.  I enjoy shopping, cooking, going to movies, DIY crafting, reading books (YA are a guilty pleasure, but some of my favorites are The Help and Memoirs of a Geisha) hanging out with friends, blogging and of course, all things Pinterest.  I have been a responsible, productive member of society with a job since I was 15.  I have worked for everything I have.  I believe in God.  I am a normal person and if it weren't for my relationship status, I'm pretty sure you would like me.  I will be in your child's life for the duration and will continue to hold out hope for a cooperative and positive relationship with you.  I want nothing more than for the ladies to know all parents love, respect and want the best for them.  I believe if you choose it, we can all work together to make them the best they can be.  It will take all of us working towards a common goal.  Negativity does nothing but poison all relationships involved.


I did a lot of thinking, reflecting and researching before I wrote this.  Heck, I wrote about 7 drafts and have been keeping it for about two weeks.  I have never been a quiet person, but I have never found myself in this position before.  I finally decided it was time to say something after reading this.  I will not bullied by what others think of me but I will rise above.  You don't know me, but if you took the time to you would see how great I am.  I live a normal life with my loving husband.  I am neither lazy nor am I selfish.  I am a great person and I am a darn good step-mom.  That's just me being frank.

If a mother and father Can love more than One child...it only makes sense that a child Can love more than One mom or dad.
Life, Laughs and Ladds: Frank Fridays


Until next time...


10 comments:

  1. Props to you lady! This was beautifully written and you are very courageous for voicing your thoughts on such a sensitive issue. Im inspired and also touched. God Bless you and your family.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your support! It is SO appreciated!

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  2. This helped alot. I have a stepson who I want nothing more than to love like my own or, well see like my own. I do love him and life would end if anything ever happen to him, just like my own. However I get annoyed at every little thing he does and I do not want to feel that way as I know that he is actually a really good boy and an amazingly sweet hearted child. He actually acts so much like me it blows my mind that he's not mine biologically. If I could get over seeing so much unnecessary bad in him I'd be in a great place which brings me to my point. So much research just tells us how to learn to have peace, coexist, get along with, or deal with stepchildren and even with all the advances this world has made with understanding mental health, I found little on loving and accepting children as our own. Needless to say your post gave me hope. I will take alot from this, so thank you.

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  3. This helped alot. I have a stepson who I want nothing more than to love like my own or, well see like my own. I do love him and life would end if anything ever happen to him, just like my own. However I get annoyed at every little thing he does and I do not want to feel that way as I know that he is actually a really good boy and an amazingly sweet hearted child. He actually acts so much like me it blows my mind that he's not mine biologically. If I could get over seeing so much unnecessary bad in him I'd be in a great place which brings me to my point. So much research just tells us how to learn to have peace, coexist, get along with, or deal with stepchildren and even with all the advances this world has made with understanding mental health, I found little on loving and accepting children as our own. Needless to say your post gave me hope. I will take alot from this, so thank you.

    ReplyDelete