I miss you. I miss the time I used to have to focus on you, b*tch about my work and other life things. I miss being able to spend countless hours researching how to grow you, make pictures beautiful for you and devote time to JUST you... well, me really.
However, things have changed. I'm breaking up with you. Ok, not really but I'm temporarily putting on hold the expectations that I once had for you. I do promise to spend more time on you, but it wont be enough time. It will never be enough time. It will be just enough time to have a written journal of our life to look back on because Lord knows I don't have the memory for it all.
You see, there's this girl. She's my tiny human and she's really more important than you if we're being honest... and I'm always honest, to a fault. Getting up for work at 5am, feeding her at 6 and on to my commute, just to spend a day at work, commute home, feed her, feed me, get things ready for the next day, pump, go to bed at 9ish and wake up to feed her before continuing my nap just doesn't leave enough time for you. I am hopeful that on weekends when the tiny human is napping I may be able to spend time with you and then I think I hear the voice of the washing machine and I'm not so sure. Also, on these weekends I need to soak up as much of the tiny human's time and essence as I can. I may even try to see this giant ball of light in the sky people keep telling me about...I'm not convinced.
So, my dear friend, I can promise you this. I will commit to trying to make more time for you but I can promise you that I love you, and miss you, and will one day be able to nurture you like the diamond seedling you are.
Until next time my friend...