Frank Friday's: Everyone's getting pregnant but me.

Happy Frank Friday!  I've been MIA for, oh I don't know like, 50 of these.  my bad.  Hey Boo, I'm back!  This is a personal lady post so *insert little krill voices here* swim away if you don't want to read.  You've been warned!

So it's not secret that last June I shared that we were trying to have a little Ladd.  During one of the most traumatic lady Dr visits I've ever had, I was told that after taking out the baby barrier, things could happen immediately or could take up to a year.  Well folks, we're getting darn near that year mark and I can't tell you how impatient I'm becoming.  There are so many emotions that go along with this that it's not as simple as "just don't think about it and it'll happen".  If you think I'm even remotely capable of that, you have never met me.

I know there are TONS of factors in getting a bun in the oven.  First let's talk about the most obvious part to this equation... having your husband home.  Yeah, easy right?  Wrong.  Thanks to the lovely boat that my husband is stationed on, which I've been lovingly calling the boat that shall not be named... I'm a fan, can you tell?...  thanks to the boat my husband has done more tours that a Japanese person on vacation.  Long, short, sunny, arctic, you name it and he's been gone for it.  And when he is home, it's really a crap shoot on if it's the "right time".  So there's that.

Secondly, at the same amazingly horrific Dr appt I was told that my weight was a factor.  Ok, let's slow your roll for a second lady.  While I'm no Gisele, I can rock an awesome outfit with my J. Lo and feel fabulous.  Also, I totally and completely fit comfortably in an airline seat- so there.  Yes, I've put on some lovin' since moving to the frozen tundra, but I'm still on the side of the US average so let's not get carried away and think I'm Honey Boo Boo's Mamma... just sayin.  I have made an effort and lost 11lbs that has stayed off so far.  I'm still working with all of my Advocare products and will continue to shed this blubber before we leave for sunny Cali! Also- over weight people get prego and have babies ALL. THE. TIME.  *insert seriously annoyed face here*




I can't even talk about everyone who is getting pregnant on the first try, not trying or not, not trying but if it happens it happens.  Seriously, I can't.

Does anyone else's body play tricks on them?  I swear every month when I pop open my baby makin' tracker to see when my "aunt" will visit and see that I'm a couple days away I get down.  Then, about a week later I'm wondering where it is.  So I pop open my app and get little butterflies in my stomach.  I get hope.  Then, like clock work for the last couple of months it will be one- maybe even two weeks late, I'll call my two best girlfriends and of course the hubby with the "possibility" of something... maybe take a test and boom... like a horrible April fool's joke it starts.  Literally I've waited and waited to say something, finally decided to say SOMETHING and that day it starts.  I'm beginning to think my body hates me.

Maybe I just have a hostile V?  Maybe it's like a little swimmer kill zone *thinking of the Hunger Games scenes now*  Maybe I've been trying for so long to train it to stop the baby makin that the old dog can't learn a new trick.  Did I just call my V a dog?  I guess I did... can I take that back, that sounds weird??? 

Which brings me around to the title of this post... everyone is getting pregnant but me.  Frankly, I'm pouting.  I can't tell you how ecstatically excited I am for everyone around me because I truly am, but I'd be lying if I said that every month my heart didn't break when it doesn't happen. Tears are inevitable.  I don't always feel like I can be honest and express this with my friends who are and aren't pregnant because A) I'm sick of the comments.  Seriously, I know.  "It'll happen when it's horrible timing.  It'll happen when you stop trying.  You have to stop stressing about it..." and on and on.  I know...  B) I'm sick of the pity looks.  Sometimes I think people either really don't care or understand how badly I want this.  And seriously, if you don't want to talk about this with me- then stop asking when I'm going to have kids.  It's like a woman asking if she looks fat in an outfit and not wanting the answer.  Yes, if you have to ask, you probably do look fat.  #you're welcome

So, that's what's been going on in this little noggin lately.  I just had to be frank.  Can we all just take a moment and send prayers and positive thoughts my way?  I would be SO thankful!!

What about you?  What are you going to be frank about today?

Until next time...

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